Most people prefer to make a long story short, but I’m much better at making a short story long …
I don’t remember exactly how – I think a celebrity gossip website was involved – but a few months ago I came across a blog called That’s Hideous. As you might guess from the name, That’s Hideous is a blog about ugly things – frequently designer clothing or shoes or on occasion some kind of artwork made with what looked like the skull of a rodent-like dog.
I’ve always felt that quite a bit of, if not most, designer items were absolute crap. I’ve seen celebrities wearing what looked like Jerry Seinfeld’s puffy shirt, and they were considered fashion-forward, just because some greasy, leathery-skinned Italian’s name is stitched on the label of the offending garment. (And I can’t be the only one who’s noticed that fashion designers never appear in public wearing anything as ridiculous as the things they stuff models into for runway shows.)
Where was I? Hideous things, right. Anyway, I can’t begin to tell you how pleased I was to see someone else pointing these things out. A Coach handbag isn’t pretty just because it’s a Coach handbag. In any case, That’s Hideous became one of those websites I checked every day for updates (hence its inclusion in my Daily Grind blogroll). And when I checked it yesterday, under an item about Pete Wentz’s atrocious boots, I found what is, in the vernacular, a “tag”.
Considering the thirteen-odd years I’ve been on the internet, you’d think I’d be more familiar with this sort of thing, but you would be wrong. Tags are rather new to me, probably because I’ve mostly used the internet for baby animal pictures and socially inept rambling. But near as I can tell, when you’ve been tagged, you have to answer a number of questions or make a number of statements, depending on your tagger. You then tag others to make them do the same, and so on, creating a sort of chain-letter of how-well-do-you-know-a-person. There now, I think I’ve explained this all to death.
In any case, after reading Deka’s (who knew she could squeal like a pig? Not I.) I found that my little blog had been tagged (and also blogrolled – thanks, Deka!). I’ve never been tagged before, so I was excited in a pathetic sort of way. And so, to finish my unnecessarily long story, here’s what I came up with.
Ten things I love
1. Disneyland. I’d live there were it allowed.
2. Swedish Fish, despite my irrational fish phobia. Maybe it’s the Swede in me – although they’re manufactured in Canada.
3. My family. Most of them, anyway.
4. Animal Crossing: City Folk. I’m unemployed; It’s all I’ve got.
5. “The Soup” on E!. No one does snarky quite like Joel McHale.
6. Dr. Greg House. Although I’m not sure what that says about me.
7. Celebrity gossip.
8. Cold cereal. Works for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and is healthy as part of a complete breakfast (not that I ever eat a “complete breakfast”).
9. Domo-Kun, that fuzzy brown harbinger of Japanese television
10. Bookstores. I’m a nerd like that.
Ten things I loathe
1. Made up mishmashed words like “webinar” and “guesstimate” and “edutainment.”
2. “The Sound of Music.”
3. Brain cancer.
4. People who run red lights.
5. Katy Perry. She tries so hard to be edgy and hip and it just ain’t working.
6. The rapidly diminishing resale value of my Chevy Cavalier (down to $1300 already).
7. Migraine headaches.
8. Anything with more than four legs.
10. Bad grammar.
Ten random facts
1. I faint at the sight of my own blood.
2. All of my electronics are pink (phone, camera, computer, Nintendo DS, etc)
3. My picture was in a (now-defunct) teen magazine when I was in high school.
4. What started off as a joke has now led me to the point where I automatically say “Canadia” instead of “Canada” (my sincerest apologies to the residents of America’s hat).
5. I have a good internal clock – I can tell within 5 minutes how much time has passed since I checked a clock and I can wake myself up at a certain time without an alarm clock.
6. I can type 95 words per minute.
7. I’ve had my gallbladder and my tonsils removed (on separate occasions, of course).
8. I used to work in a library.
9. I can’t swim.
10. People in general make me very nervous.
I reckon I'm supposed to tag a few people now as well. I doubt the webmasters and -mistresses of the celebrity gossip sites that I frequent would consider it. So I'm going to pick on family, if they're willing (America being a republic, I can't force them). So I'm going to pick on Holly, Becky, Patsy, Dana and ... hmm ... I know embarrassingly few real people. I'll leave it at four, particularly as I'm not expecting any response.
So there's random fact number eleven: I believe that having low expectations keeps a person from being disappointed.